First Date
by Chaos Controller15
Summary: It's showtime for Shadow as he prepares himself for his first date. Will all go well for him? Or is it one problem after another? I'll tell you one thing, hilarity will ensue. Enjoy!


Chaos Controller15: Is anybody ready to laugh? Cause that's the reaction I hope I'll get with this story. I hope this is an enjoyable story to read for you all. The beginning will be from Shadow's point of view, and then transition to neutral. Anyways, I do not own any of the characters. They belong to Sega/Sonic Team. Enjoy!

I was standing in my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. It was one of those few times in my life where I thought clothes may be necessary to fit the occasion. The suit I tried was way too formal. The leather jacket and ripped made me look too... Well, too something, but it just plain looked bad.

Oh, the hell with it.

I grumbled and ripped the current outfit, a T-shirt and sweatpants off. Who was I to wear clothes anyways? It was just a date, after all.

Really, _just _a date? Then how was I supposed to explain the butterflies I was feeling in my stomach? At that moment I felt as if I really needed the bathroom, but couldn't go.

Boy, what was I getting myself into? And why was I, the Ultimate Life Form, nervous about a date? I shook my head in dismay.

I mean, sure it's not like it was the first time we'd been together. However, this was the first time it was going to be more intimate then any of those other times put together.

I stepped out of the bathroom, feeling a little better about not wearing clothes. But still, my stomach didn't get any better. She'd arrive at any minute by now. Well, wish me luck. Here goes nothing.

And then, she arrived...

Rouge pulled up in front of Shadow's yard and honked her car's horn. She smiled as thoughts of the fun night the two were about to embark on crept into her mind. 'It's going to be a great night.' She thought with a dreamy sigh.

Soon enough, Shadow stepped out of his house. It came as no surprise to her that he wasn't wearing a smile, but he almost looked like he was frowning. Now that she didn't expect.

He opened the door of the fancy sportscar and got in. "Not walking?"

"Nah. I figured it'd be nicer in a car this time. After all, it is just a night for you and I, right?" Rouge purred.

"Yep."

Shadow noticed Rouge had changed outfits for the occasion. She was wearing a sparkly dark purple dress with black gloves on. Also, instead of blue eye shadow, it was a pinkish-purple.

The bat started the car back up and they took off. "So, to Joe's, right?"

Shadow nodded. "And," Rouge continued, "You really haven't been there?"

"No."

"Wow, well at least you'll try it now. This place is great! They've got a lot of different things as well. I don't see why you wouldn't like it."

"Alright, sounds good." Shadow said.

Five minutes later Rouge asked Shadow if he wanted to hear any music. In return he just shrugged. Knowing that to usually be Shadow's way of saying yes, she turned some on. "Here," She said, reading all of the band names that she had installed onto her player, "Maybe... Ah, here we go." She pressed a button and a song started.

Shadow had to admit it was a good choice of songs. He listened closely as the car drove towards its destination.

He was listening so closely, in fact, that when they had arrived about 5 minutes later, it took Rouge a couple tries to finally make him aware of the fact. "Oh." He quickly hopped out of the car.

Then he made his way to Rouge's side to help her out. "Such a gentleman." The bat smiled as they walked into the restaurant.

Rouge noticed something as she gripped her date's hand. Even though he had gloves on, she could tell his palms were sweaty. 'Is he really... nervous?' Rouge asked herself.

By now Shadow was freaking out, feeling as though he was ready to explode. But he had to keep his composure for just a little bit longer.

Apparently Rouge had made reservations, because they were guided to their table immediately. It was a small booth table, but it worked. After all, it didn't really matter where they sat.

As he sat down, Shadow recognized the ambient music coming from the speakers, but also that they were directly under one of the A/C blowers, which, wasn't exactly blowing out hot air.

"Hello," A waitress came by, "How are you two today?"

Rouge grinned. "Very good, thank you."

The server handed the two a men and then asked if they wanted any wine. "Um... Shadow?" Rouge cocked her head and looked at him.

"Sure."

"Alright, a couple glasses of wine it is then." Their waitress walked off.

Rouge sat back. Shadow was starting to feel the effects of being under a blower. Slightly, he felt his body shivering ever now and then. Not a good sign for a guy who just sat down about 2 minutes ago.

Before he could think about it, the waitress came back holding two glasses of velvet liquid. "Thank you." Rouge and Shadow said simultaneously.

"Alright, do you guys want to take a little bit longer to look at the menu or are you ready?"

"I think a couple more minutes would be great." Shadow responded.

She nodded and left them alone again. "So, what do you normally get?" Shadow asked Rouge, kinda trying to start a conversation.

"Well, I've only been here a couple times, and I had a different meal each time. The first time I got the Cream-O-Mushroom soup, which wasn't half bad. Then, the next time I tried the grilled chicken with the cheese sauce." She read over the menu, "Ah, it's called the Chicken a Alfredo."

Shadow nodded and found the two mentioned meals on the menu. Then, something caught his eye. "Hmm, this pulled BBQ chicken sandwich sounds good." Shadow said as he read the small description.

"OK. I think I might try the French onion soup." Rouge said.

A couple minutes after they had decided, the waitress had arrived again, ready to take their orders. "So, are we ready now?" She asked.

"I think we are." Rouge answered.

"Alright, so what are we getting?"

Shadow motioned towards Rouge. "I'm going to try the French onion soup if you don't mind."

"Not at all. And you sir?" She turned to face Shadow.

"I'll go with the pulled BBQ chicken sandwich."

"Sure thing. So, do you want some soda for when you guys finish the wine?"

Rouge said yes. She got a lemon-lime and Shadow got a cola. After the waitress left, Rouge picked up her glass of wine.

"This is really nice Shadow. I'm glad we decided on it."

The black hedgehog in turn seemed to shift uncomfortably. "I... I'm glad I could make it happen." He blushed a little.

Rouge giggled a little at the response, but quickly regained her composure. Shadow wished he would've just been that relaxed, but it just couldn't work out that way.

The two clinked wine glasses and polished off the contents rather quickly. Afterwards, they shared a couple smiles as their waitress presented them with their sodas.

Shadow hastily reached for his large cup and picked it up. However, he tilted it just a little too much and a little spilled onto him.

'Damn it!' The splash was cold, and with the A/C blowing, it only got worse.

Still, Shadow resisted the urge to make any sound that would make Rouge aware of his mistake. 'I'm a man!' He thought seriously to himself.

He couldn't be allowing Rouge to see such a clumsy mistake on his part. Still, with the cold air, nothing got better. He put his cup down and cleaned up the mess with his gloves.

"Ah," He sighed, 'Much better.'

Rouge then sipped at her soda. Then, the two engaged in conversation again. "So," Rouge started, "How's your day been?"

"Boring. You?"

"I've actually been quite busy. First of all, I had to find the perfect outfit for tonight. Then, I was online checking out just about anything you could think of. Oh yeah, then I went around for the perfect pair of shoes. But there weren't any good ones sadly, so I just decided on a pair I already had."

Shadow nodded and took another sip of soda. This time no spillage. "So, have you been watching anything on TV lately?" Rouge asked.

Now Shadow was starting to get a little uncomfortable. Conversation like this was not his thing, really. Still, he tried to come up with a reasonable response. "Uh, not really, why?" He didn't think he sounded too stupid.

"Just asking. Lighten up Shads, it's what people do on a date, they talk with each other." Rouge chuckled.

"Oh." Shadow nodded.

"Anyways," Rouge sighed, obviously Shadow did not take that lightly as she thought he would have, "Have you watched or played any sports lately?"

Shadow thought of how to answer this one. Then, after at least 30 seconds, he responded. "Yes as a matter of fact."

"What type?"

"Football. I broke one guy's ribs, sent him flying, and then broke his collarbone on the way down. Oh, and did I mention I twisted another guy's leg by sliding into him?" Shadow said all proud of himself for the accomplishments.

"Oh." Rouge said, somewhat horrified.

Shadow cracked up a little. He must've been thinking about the incidents he just mentioned. Now it was Rouge's turn to shift uncomfortably, she was sorry she brought the topic up now. Forcing a giggle, she attempted to change the subject. "How about movies? Seen any good movies lately?"

"No... Oh wait, I forgot to tell you! I gave one dude I concussion by throwing the football right at him really hard. It slipped right through his hands and hit his head. Poor guy, went straight down. Must've been knocked out for at least five minutes." Shadow announced.

Now Rouge really didn't know what to say.

"OK Shadow, good for you. So, have you cooked anything lately?"

"Gosh no." Now that shut him up.

Rouge sighed and pushed the mental images Shadow just gave her out of her mind. "Oh look! Here comes our food!"

Their waitress walked in their direction, holding a plate and a bowl. Rouge reached her arms out, ready to help take her soup. But then, she smiled and walked right passed them. "Aww." Rouge frowned.

The agony of defeat. "It happens to everyone." She rebounded quickly.

"What kind of music do you like the most lately?" Rouge asked.

Shadow just shrugged. "Oh well. So, what have you done in the somewhat recent future that was interesting?"

"Um..." Shadow stuttered as he thought for a moment, "Well... I... Other then knocking people out on the field, nothing much."

"Alright. Well, did you enjoy Knuckles's birthday party a week or two ago?"

"It was okay."

Shadow remembered the party fairly well. He had a decent time. He sat on the couch much of the time, only getting up a couple of times to eat or drink. He did enjoy the cake they made Knuckles. Singing for him wasn't quite as fun, but the taste of the chocolate cake Rouge claimed to have baked herself made up for it a little bit.

"Good!" Rouge exclaimed, "I'm glad you had such a great time. How was my cake?"

"Wasn't bad."

"Great."

Shadow sighed and started to wonder when their food would arrive. He was secretly hoping that once the food came Rouge would be too busy eating to talk as much as she was.

"How about last Sunday? Weren't you going to do something with Sonic then?"

"No." Shadow eyed her strangely.

How did she know? He felt a couple drops of sweat as he avoided the topic of last Sunday. It wasn't pretty. Sonic challenged him to a race with big stakes up for grabs. Obviously, Shadow wasn't going to refuse. So they had a big race, but in the end Sonic beat him. Shadow really hoped Rouge didn't hear about that.

"Alright, never mind." Rouge shrugged.

And then their food was on its way. The waitress came by holding a tray with both of their meals. As she was walking towards them, she stepped on a fork that was laying on the ground. "Ouch!" The tray went flying.

"My soup!" Rouge shrieked and dove for the falling bowl.

She just barely caught it, saving the soup. Everybody in the area gave the bat a round of applause for the nice play. She smiled and got up, sitting back down at her table.

Meanwhile, Shadow's plate fell right in front of him. He put his hands out, caught it, and put it down. However, he was a little jealous of Rouge getting all the cheers, but decided to refrain from saying anything.

Instead, he and Rouge began eating.

"It's very good," Rouge remarked, "How is yours?"

"Good." Shadow answered.

"Great." Rouge responded.

Now, about 5 minutes later, Shadow was starting to have a code red emergency. His stomach tensed up and he felt a gas coming on. 'Oh man, this is not happening.' Shadow thought as he groaned.

He shifted around in his seat, trying to relieve himself, but nothing worked. 'Gosh, where's the Tums when you need em?'

Shadow tried to eat, hoping that would work, but it didn't. Finally, t escaped and Shadow blushed furiously. 'Crap! Why?' He yelled at himself.

He looked up, praying desperately that Rouge didn't notice anything. Luckily, it didn't seem that she did. He sighed in relief, that was close, 'too close.' He thought.

Shadow excused himself and made his way to the bathroom. Then, there was the small problem of it being one of those single ones, and the door was locked. He banged furiously on it. "Hey buddy, mind giving a dude a little privacy?" The guy inside snapped at him, "Oh, and you don't wanna come in here anyways." 

"Sorry."

"First date."

"I know how you feel." Shadow answered sympathetically.

Just then it occurred to him he was having a conversation with the man on the can.

Then he heard a strange slurping sound, he could only figure it was the plunger. With that in mind, he stepped back. He thought he saw some water coming out from underneath the door. Now he'd really had it.

That's when he noticed a sign with a male figure on it, with the word 'men' written on it. He approached it and realized it was what he was looking for. It was a glorious men's room!

He sighed in relief as he looked for a stall in the far corner. Seeing that the only one open was in the middle he shrugged and stepped in. He barely sat on the oval office before it all came out. Man, it was about time, although Shadow could've imagined a better time then in the middle of a date.

None of that mattered at the moment though.

Then, somebody opened his door on him. "Hey! What the hell are you doing?" He snapped.

"Sorry! But remember to lock your door bro!"

"Will do." The second the man left he shut and locked the door.

Could it get any worse?

Sadly, it did. When Shadow was finally ready for toilet paper, he reached his hand out and looked over. "Oh my gosh!" He groaned, "Really?"

They were out of toilet paper. Not good. "Uh..." He considered his options.

Then, he knocked on the stall beside his. "What?" The guy asked irritably.

"Hey... Um... Would you mind passing me a roll?"

"What?"

"Toilet paper... I... Well, This... I ran out." Shadow explained, stuttering ridiculously.

"Oh, can't help you there, sorry."

"No problem... Have a good day." Shadow answered.

Then, he knocked on the other stall. "Ah! Holy... You scared the heck out of me! What are you thinking?"

"Sorry... I just had... a quick... question."

"Come on! Can't a guy have some peace in the bathroom? What do you need?"

"Um... Some toilet paper... I ran out."

"Oh... I hate it when that happens. Here you go, enjoy."

He saw just what he needed. It rolled its way under the guy's stall into his, then passed it when he missed picking it up. "Thanks."

He tapped on the other stall again. "Now what?"

"Can you please pass me that?"

"Sure. Good luck."

He saw it rolling again and picked it up this time.

Shadow got finished up and stood up for the first time in what felt like hours and flushed the toilet. However, the sound of it suddenly stopping like it did was not good. He looked back. The water was not going down. If anything, the water level was rising. "No!" Shadow screamed and got down on his knees.

His head sank onto the toilet seat as he begged it to go down. "Please! No this can't happen. I'll give you a great tip if you go down!"

That didn't help at all. The water level seemed to be slowly rising again. "Crap! The crap's rising! Now what?" He asked.

"I don't know." Somebody from outside answered.

'Plunger!' He thought and scrambled for one.

But there wasn't one in the area. He quickly ran out of his stall and scanned the bathroom. 'The cabinets!' He looked under the sinks, but found nothing. 'Oh no, why must it be so cruel?' He ran back into his stall, locked the door so that nobody would walk in and then jumped out. "Oh gosh, it stinks in here!" He heard the two people adjacent to his stall say and then faint.

He walked out and saw Rouge staring at him. "What took you so long?" She asked.

"Sorry, don't know." He answered, trying to play it off as nothing.

"Well, I hope you're feeling better."

"That I am." He said and sat down.

His food was getting cold, so he tried to wolf it down as fast he could, especially when he noticed Rouge was already finished with her soup.

Within two minutes he got done with his sandwich. Their waitress came by and took the bill that Rouge had apparently paid for already. "Oh, you didn't have to Rouge. I was going to pay."

"Don't worry about it. I had a great time... Even if you needed the bathroom for a little bit."

"Alright, thanks a lot."

After paying the two got up to leave. Then Shadow pretended to feel around where pockets would be if he were wearing pants. "Oh wait, I forgot my wallet. I'll go get it. Meet you in the car."

"You have a wallet?"

"Yeah, I brought it out when I saw the bill. Must've left it on the table."

"I can go fetch it for you." Rouge offered.

"Oh no thank you. It's all good. Go get the car set up and ready."

"Alright." Rouge answered slowly and stepped out.

Shadow wiped the sweat from his forehead. Then, when she was with her car, he shouted, "PLUNGER!"

Shadow started wildly running around the restaurant in search of the object he needed most. Eventually, he gave up on just magically finding it and noticed the manager. "Hey." He said and shook the man's hand.

"Hello sir, having a good time."

"Yes, I had a great meal. But, would you happen to, uh, know where I could find a... plunger?"

"Yes. I'll go fetch one for you." The manager walked into a backroom and then came back out, "Here you go."

"Thanks so much."

"Your welcome."

Shadow charged his way into the bathroom, holding his plunger up high as if it were a spear or something. On his way, he knocked down a poor guy who was holding his nose. "Sorry."

He ran in and slid his way into his stall. There, he stood up and went to town on the toilet. 'Oh come on! Please work baby, I beg of you.' He thought as he finished the job off.

Pulling the flusher all that was left to do was pray. It seemed like it took forever, but at last all was good. 'Whew' Shadow wiped the sweat of his forehead and walked out of he stall. Everyone in the bathroom was cheering for him as he made his exit. He left the plunger near the sinks. Luckily, all was good in the end.

He left the restaurant with a smile on his face, finding Rouge and the car right in front. Again, the bat looked to be riddled with confusion. "What took you so long this time?"

"Sorry, forgot the table. Then, one of the workers picked it up and started looking for and it took a while."

"Ah, why do I find that hard to believe?" Rouge said, but let it be.

She shrugged and stepped into the car. Shadow did the same and they started to drive back home.

"But Shadow, I never saw you take a wallet out, even when you did see the bill."

'Oh man, how am I supposed to answer that one?' Shadow asked himself as he thought of a somewhat reasonable response.

Busted.

Chaos Controller15: So, that's it. How was it? Personally, I really enjoyed writing it. TO be honest, I recall quite a few moments where I nearly laughed myself off my chair, how about you? So yeah, I hope you enjoyed it.


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